Trauma Informed Therapy

We've all been through trauma in our lives. Learn how I can help you reconcile what you've been through in a compassionate way.

What is trauma informed therapy?

From a Social Justice Counseling perspective, we have all gone through some kind of trauma during our lives. From singular events that can be distinguished by life before and life after, to smaller ongoing stressors that build up over time, to living under oppressive systems of white supremacy, patriarchy and capitalism, trauma touches everyone. Trauma is also generational. Often our parent’s maladaptive coping strategies are taught to us. Their fears become ours, as do the way we react. Trauma informed therapy takes into account everyone’s experience is unique to them and caters towards each individual.

Oftentimes, it is not helpful to simply talk about negative things that have happened to us. We need other ways of reconciling our experiences. Trauma informed therapy understands that trauma affects a person’s whole being-not just their mental cognition. Therefore, a therapist working with trauma often utilizes more than just talk therapy and finds ways to incorporate the somatic, or embodied, experience as well.

What should I expect in a session?

Expect to go slowly. Trauma processing takes time. It’s not a one and done kind of thing.

Often, things seem to get worse before they get better. If you think about it, many of us have spent decades trying to stay protected from painful events in our lives. The energy it takes to stay protected does not just disappear overnight; instead, our emotions and physical sensations might seem more intense as our body and mind begins to integrate what we’ve tried to avoid for so long.

Because of this, resourcing is a vital part to any trauma processing. We have to train ourselves to orient to experiences that aren’t just negative and, by doing so, we slowly rebuild the trust in ourselves that was lost during the adverse time(s). What is the trust we’re rebuilding? Through integrating and reprocessing trauma we can come to see that we are actually stronger than we thought. Humans are incredibly resilient and our coping mechanisms, although extremely harmful, developed out of a desire to survive and keep us safe. By reconnecting with our bodies and allowing ourselves to feel our experiences fully-negative emotions and all-we can reconnect with this resiliency and build confidence that we are okay.

What does a traumatic experience feel like?

Again, this question is different for everyone. That said, trauma responses often have similar effects on our bodies. On a basic level, we all have a window of tolerance that our systems (the psychological, psychological, emotional aspects of our embodied experience) exist within. When we are in our window of tolerance, generally speaking, we are open and engaged with our lives. Feelings of curiosity, relaxation, wonder, enjoyment, play, ease, happiness are accessible to us. We have access to all parts of our brain and we’re able to learn and grow. Although we still might be emotionally reactive, for the most part, we are able to resolve them relatively quickly. In other words, when we are within the window of tolerance, we don’t get stuck in events-especially in events that happened in the past. We have more access to the present moment.

That said, when we are under threat, or under intense, ongoing, stressful situations, our system moves to keep us safe. This happens a number of ways, but the most common is that we go into flight or fight mode. Our bodies might get flushed with stress hormones, or our heart rate might go up, our breathing might get shallow and our muscles tense us, ready to move us. We lose access to the parts of our brains that allow for complexity and problem solving and our sense of the world becomes narrow and constricted. This can often look like anxiety or anger.

If we can’t resolve, or solve the threat through running away or fighting, our system then starts to go into freeze mode. Just like a gazelle about to be eaten by a lion plays dead, our system survives by becoming still, shutting down. Taken to the extreme, this reaction can move into falling asleep, where we become immobilize. A freeze response often manifests as feelings of numbing out, dissociating or depression.

In and of themselves, these responses are a natural part of being human. That said, if our systems can’t resolve the threat, we often get stuck in a response. What was a one time reaction to an event, now becomes habit. When this happens, our window of tolerance shrinks and the stress to our systems compounds because we have less and less resources at our disposal.

In experiences of acute trauma or stress, this can manifest by reliving the event over and over through dreams or ruminations or an inability to recognize and tolerate good experiences. We might know we are no longer in the traumatic event, but our bodies and brain do not. Maybe we start to lash out, or feel irritable and don’t know why, maybe we find ourselves shut down and disinterested in life. However the experience manifests, know it’s not something you can think or will your way out of. Ultimately, what happened and how your body responded is not your fault. That said, it is now up to you to do something about it.

We can expand our window of tolerance and learn to enjoy our lives again. We can allow our systems to compete the reactions and settle once more into openness, curiosity and creativity. There are many ways we do this.

What are the ways you work with trauma?

The two main ways I work with trauma are through IFS (Internal Family Systems) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Both are methods that bypass our thinking mind and allow our bodies to process the stuck impulses and energies that get us into so much trouble.

EMDR is a method that incorporates rapid bilateral stimulation (moving eyes back and forth, taping on alternate parts of the body, or hearing different tones) to reorganize brain pathways that got stuck during a traumatic event. EMDR is effective for single event traumas or negative belief patterns.

Hear from someone who went through it

"What I went through was traumatic, but it wasn't the hardest part.

The hardest part was unlearning all the habits I picked up seemingly overnight, not least of which was the urge to support everyone at the cost of myself. It took a long time to admit that I needed help and an even longer time to get the courage to ask for it. I'm in a better place now, years later, but I'll never be the person I used to be - it's taken me a long time to understand that that's not inherently a bad thing, but I'm learning how to be happier with who I am in this moment after every moment I've lived before."

- Anonymous therapy patient

“Trauma is not an event. Trauma is the body’s protective response to an event-or a series of events-that is perceived as potentially dangerous. This perception may be accurate, inaccurate, or entirely imaginary.”

- Resmaa Menakem