Internal Family Systems
(IFS)

The idea that every person has subsets of their personality within their mental system, and that each should be treated with loving kindness.

What is IFS?

According to the IFS website: “Internal Family Systems is a powerfully transformative, evidence-based model of psychotherapy.” IFS is rooted in the belief that our internal system is complex, made up of multiple parts, with different attributes all of which are welcome. Some parts might seem scared, or angry. Others might be shy or tender. However, the part manifests, IFS believes that every part serves a purpose and needs understanding and care. Much like Contemplative Psychotherapy, the aim of IFS is to support and uncover the inherent wisdom of every individual. Through cultivating curiosity, compassion, and openness, IFS helps clients discover the inherent goodness that is already a part of them.

From an Internal Family perspective, suffering happens when the vulnerable, open parts of ourselves are hurt through adverse or traumatic events. When that happens, other parts form to protect us and keep us safe. Although all parts need understanding and compassion, often these protector parts are misguided and destructive-seemingly working against our best interests.

Maybe as a child, we grew up in an environment that was unsafe and in order to survive, we learned how to numb ourselves through substances (anything from technology, to drugs and alcohol, to self-abuse or even workaholism). From an IFS perspective, the addictive part that formed was to keep us from feeling extreme pain, fear and loss of connection. Although the addiction might not be what we want for ourselves or lives, it has a purpose and function. IFS encourages us to stop hating the destructive part, and instead start to get to know it. If we can understand it’s function, we have the possibility to change the behavior.

How is IFS different from other forms of therapy?

IFS is a form of talk therapy that goes beyond mere cognition. It is considered to be helpful with trauma processing and helps clients integrate and rewrite their stories around negative experiences. In order to do so, an IFS therapist helps clients draw attention to their whole experience: body sensations, emotions, and thoughts. While still client-led, an IFS session utilizes more direct questioning and inquiry. Additionally, IFS incorporates imagination and our somatic experience to explore beliefs and unconscious biases holding us back. Because all parts of ourselves are understood to be part of the larger whole, the aim of IFS is to bring curiosity to our experience instead of aggression or a need to "fix." Noticing and understanding parts is the aim of IFS therapy.

We develop a greater understanding of ourselves by noticing our thoughts, feelings, impressions, and sensations. Through IFS, we have the potential to discover something we don’t know about ourselves and that is what allows for the possibility of change.

What does IFS help with?

IFS has been proven to be an effective therapeutic modality for a variety of mental health challenges. Originally developed to address severe instances of trauma and abuse, IFS is also effective is working with Depression, Anxiety, Substance Abuse, Phobias, and Compulsive behaviors. IFS can also address less severe stressors such as helping clients make a decision about careers or relationships. IFS helps clients change habitual patterns that are no longer serving them, such as shame or self-aggression. IFS helps clients develop new ways of regulating emotions and improve their problem-solving skills. Ultimately, IFS helps to develop trust in ourselves and through that, we find we can start to trust others and our world.

What if I don’t want to talk about my issues or traumas?

Not wanting to talk about something is completely accepted in IFS. For instance, not knowing or not wanting to talk about an issue might be seen as “resistance” in traditional therapy. In IFS, not wanting to talk is regarded as a part of our client and is considered to be a great protector. Instead, in IFS, we go systematically through a person’s internal world. Working with the outer layers-the protectors and managers of they system before even thinking about approaching what lies at the heart of our struggles. Instead of a problem to be fixed, ”resistance” is honored and taken as an opportunity to get curious. Often, if we can come into an amicable relationship to the part that is not wanting to share or confused, we find that part relaxing and then opening up is possible.

If any of this sounds interesting to you, or you want to know more, please reach out for a free 30-minute consultation.

“We are not one-dimensional, and our multiple dimensions are not static. Just as our bodies are made of many parts that form a dynamic, interwoven system that works together, so it is with our psyches. We are more awake, alive, and complex than we know.”